Early Post~

I'm 20 years old and I'm not allowed to drive anywhere past 10 minutes on the freeway therefore, I can't drive to San Ramon by myself. What bs is that? If Dad was still alive, he'd let me. The way there is completely etched into my brain. I just needed a refresher course with the Tahoe/Reno trip. I don't need Minh to chaperone me. Mom always thinks I'm a little kid who constantly needs supervision EVERYWHERE. This actually benefits me. I'm learning the roads? I'm adapting to long drives over long distances? Clearly someone must understand that.

This is something new I'm trying out. Get this. To be self-sufficient. To not rely on others.

Now would you just let me do my thing?

Er..vegitating?

Hung out with my cousin today and walked around G-mall a little. Hit up Quickly's afterwards for some drinks and snacks. The popcorn chicken is good :D. A little expensive though, $4.50? :\. Anyway, we chilled at my house for a bit and fixed up some lag on my computer. Turns out it was the programs I had running, not the motherboard or RAM, that was causing most of the problems. I'm not too attentive to these things, not enough damn it lol. So yeah, it's a lot better now, I still prefer a laptop though. It owns my desktop. Hopefully Tommy can get the 17" HP DV9000 by the end of the week. Hopefully.

Turns out Jenny was never really mad at me? I don't know, I tend to worry about these things lol. I hate it when people are mad at me and I know it's my fault. That's why I always try to fix it as soon as possible because leaving it to fester is kinda bad. I don't wanna lose anymore friends.

Other than that, I'm planning to head up to Justin's on Friday. It's really been far too long lol.

~
The water heater is fucking broken in my apt. complex. I don't know if they had to fix it (They could have given us a notice beforehand?) or whatever. I had to shower in fucking cold water today. NOT COOL MAN >:(. It better be back to normal tomorrow. I ain't getting sick because I had to take an ice bath. Geez.

For Jenny.

Blogging because Jenny wants me to.

Well, went to Tahoe/Reno yesterday with two of my brothers and their ladies. It was pretty cool. Got to see snow (OMG snow) and it was really cold (OMG freezing to death). Mostly listened to my PSP on the way there. I think my ears are still numb because I had it on full-blast D: . Anyways, we popped to Reno afterwards and had dinner there at the Flavors buffet. It was damn good. I got all the meat that I could. So satisfying :). Went home shortly after that. We only stayed half the day LOL as opposed to the weekend like I had thought. Oh wells. At least it got me out of the house. It's so boring around here.

Oh yeah and I met Jenny a few days ago through Justin, my cousin. She's pretty cool. Cute definitely :). Hopefully we can meet someday and hang out. She's very likeable. I'm also heading up to his house in a couple of days because he's been bugging me to and I finally know the way there. It took the trip to Tahoe/Reno for me to realize how easy it is to get to San Ramon (cuz Tahoe/Reno requires you to take 680 N. We passed by San Ramon on the way there xD.) LOL. I'm such a bad relative.

~
P.S. I'm so sorry Jenny! I didn't mean to call you an emo D: . It was just a joke. I'll bake you a cake with strawberry filling (Hopefully you like strawberry.) But yeah, I'm sorry still.

Sigh. Sometimes, people just change. I should just learn to cope with it. No sense in complaining anymore. If this was meant to happen, then let it be. Life goes on. I've got 40+ years left. Let's see how I'll call my shots from here. Whatever comes and goes, I'll let it so.

Much thanks for Van (Cousin) for coming out for me. I had so much to say and you listened. Thanks man. I know what to do now. If you ever need anything, I got you. Best friends for life, even if you are family. You and Minh. To the end. Till the end of time.

This month sucks. It just sucks.

Just today, I found out my 360's disk drive doesn't read discs anymore. Wtf. What a day, month and year it picks to malfunction, right when I wanna finally beat The Last Remnant. Fuck!!

My warranty's gone on the thing and I don't wanna shell out money to fix it because Microsoft don't do shit. Not only that, I wouldn't be able to even pay for it.

Life is not the best right now. It just isn't.

And is anybody there to make it better? Nope. The only thing anyone ever does is shit on me and blame me for being irresponsible. Well, if it is always my fault then fuck it. I don''t need to tell anyone anymore. Nobody makes anything better and worse yet, they don't fucking ever admit to their own faults and weaknesses. Yet, they seek out excuses to fuck up and cover things up as if EVERYONE else does it and it's totally legitimate. Me? No. When I mess up, everything goes to hell and people act like I've gone to a new low. I know I've done dumb things. If you're not gonna like me, then tell me already. Don't act it up.

Don't act like "Oh Man, we know you're a dumbass but we're still here because we want to see you fuck up some more and shit on you again." I mean, if I've messed up so much then just go! Why are you here? Why still worry about the things I do? Why haven't I left?

It's because I'm being stupid again for staying. Who's stupider now? Me? Or the others?

I'm going to ASSUME it's me. Outside of relationships and shit to do with girls, I've always been faithful.

I care for you all too much. Believe me once, when I say this, it's me, not you guys. All that ranting earlier, it's nothing. It's because of me that you guys don't love me as much as you did before. I know I've gone through many changes since middle and high school but who doesn't? I know I don't listen. I know I don't make rational decisions.

All this time, I've always thought I'm getting worse. My mentality is slowly degrading. Each year I realize how much of myself I've lost. I'm not nearly as smart as I was last year or two years before. I forget about things I usually never do. What's my problem? Everybody seems smart compared to me. I can't comprehend things as much as others.

Maybe I've lost hope. Maybe now I understand why people do things which in most other people's eyes are ridiculous and callous. Am I slowly turning into the person I've always fought against and refrained from?

I don't know anymore. I really don't. I'm just going to ride this life out to the point when it ends. I seriously doubt anyone is going to remember. Like I've ever done anything special.

I don't know what more is asked of me than just basic instinct. Maybe I'm just primitive.

So far, the only thing I've done right in this life is telling my mom that I love her every night. I don't mind doing just that. I can care less about everything else. Seriously.




~
"Fuck these yuppies. Fuck these boomers.. Fuck everybody now that I think of it." - George Carlin.

HDTV.

Came home today to find out mom bought herself an 32" 720p Sony Bravia HDTV. ~_~. I always knew she had money. Lots of it too. How ballin'.

And yeah, you can probably already guess that she gave me her old Mitsubishi one that's been with us for as long as I can remember. Sigh. Hand-me-downs make you feel under-appreciated. Everyone in the damn family has one. Tommy said he'll give me his once he gets a better one. That was last year. At least this TV is bigger than the previous Toshiba. Size doesn't matter much. I want clearer quality! Fuckkk.

On other things, drove up to Reebok to tell them that I quit. They actually got disappointed, saying that I actually did my work. Oh wells. Maybe with more hours, I would've stayed longer. I also found out two other former co-workers quit before I did and two more are planning to. One didn't even show up for work, canceling at the last minute. LOL. And I felt guilty for leaving so soon. Maybe when the hours get straightened out, they can hit me up again in the future. Maybe. Oh wells. Going up later today at 9 to open for my last day. Kinda pisses me off. On the last day I'mma be working, I open for a change. What bullshit no?

Chilled at Oscar's house afterward, ate there and left around 11-ish. The food is exquisite as always. Shrimp in coconut cream sauce with spices served with rice and lemon beverage. Muy bueno! (Okay, sorry excuse for spanish D:). Anyways, worked out a little as well. I'm weaker than expected. Saddd. Not even 20 reps with a 20 pound dumbbell. I have the strength of a ghost.

~
Still need to sign up for class and FAFSA! Omgg. I'm such a failure at life. I really need to get my shit straight. (If I got a dollar for every time I said that to myself.)

My eyess are tearing.

Got my Halooo groove back :D.

~ George Carlin is just awesome.

"You ever go up the stairs and think there's an extra flight? Woah whoops! And when people see you do it, you act like you do it all the time? HEY I DO THIS ALL THE TIME! It's the third stage of ciphilis!"

xD. Dane Cook sucks. Russell Peters is funny. George Carlin is HILARIOUS.

Failing.

Sometimes I wonder, what will I amount to? What am I going to be useful for? Apparently, just being the nice guy isn't good enough in this world. I've always been a simple person, not caring much for most things in life. I take it in stride and watch myself grow a bit more everyday. Unfortunately, the day does not grow for me. Nothing happens. Nothing changes. Does the day make me or do I make the day? Everybody tells me all my cons, as if I didn't already know them myself. Yes, I know I'm emotionally fragile with a cursory way of thinking. I don't think before I act. I do what feels right for me. I'm naive and reinstate the obvious. I have problems because I complain too much. I'm stupid because I do the things most people never do. I'm weird and out of place because everybody shuts me out. I'm not interesting because I talk about ideas rather than people. I'm not social because nobody listens to the things I say. I'm not a good friend because I make too many mistakes.


But I am stupid because I admit to having weaknesses. I am naive because I forgive rather than trying to forget with the intention of failing. I am weird because I can't be placed in a stereotype. I am uninteresting because I think too much. I am unsociable because I want to think before I say. I am not a good friend because I don't judge you for the things you do in your personal life.


Call me an emo for tonight I am one. Such a hypocritical world isn't it?

Updatess.

Wow, I went dead for quite a while didn't I? Oh wells. Not much to say anyways. Reebok is taking it up the shitter with my hours. I can't even remember the last time I worked ~_~. I'm strongly thinking of quitting and going elsewhere. Somewhere where I can put myself to good use. Sigh, for a first job, it's not much of a job at all. Still, I'm really thankful for Bang for referring me in. Sucks it didn't work out as I hoped. I can barely manage to pay off my phone bill, let alone keep myself fed. Moms doesn't even cook much anymore. Rice is a thing of the past. Sometimes we have curry (Yum) and other times we dine on bun rieu (Double yum). If not, it's packaged noodles or whatever scraps I can dig up and throw together and call it a meal. I guess I shouldn't complain because Moms is getting old and she's not how she used to be, cooking every other night. I wonder if she'll teach me how to cook if I asked her. Her cooking is seriously fucking good! I have aunts and uncles coming from Texas dying to eat her crazy super awesome delicious food :D. On top of that, she's got a personality you can't hate! (Aside from the usual nagging which is common for mothers.) Wo hien ai wo de mama!

On another note, Christmas came early for me this year! Lan Je (My brother Minh's gf) bought me a set of Drakkor Noir cologne. Lolol it sure beats Axe by a long shot. She's so thoughtful. Many thanks! I hope more come :). Mann, I wanna start buying gifts for people. BETTER JOB. IF ONLY. IF ONLY.

Time to go job-hunting.

~
Gonna start a review of sorts, like a potpourri, reviewing anything that comes to mind. Movies for the first review

2012: Not a bad movie. Mostly CG and barely any story. The movie doesn't take long for everything to kick in. One big explosion after another. If you wanna see special effects done right, watch this movie. It barely draws references from any sources (Ex: Mayan calendar) and are only there because they need to be in order to have the movie make sense. Otherwise it'd be a mindless 160-something minutes of the world going to hell, which is still good but people nowadays look for at least a little substance.

Ninja Assassin: Standard action flick. Went to see it only because a friend was dying to see Jung Ji-Hoon aka Bi (Rain) with a ripped body displaying uber ninja skills. He's not bad portraying an action hero. It is noted that he's the only overseas actor from Korea to co-star in an American film and have a leading role following (As far as I know). Of course, fanboys and fangirls rage that he has sold himself out like Se7en and his debut American music video "Girls" featuring Lil' Kim. Frankly, I think it's just their way of expanding their fanbase. More fans never hurt anyone. Anyways, the movie has that Ninja Gaiden style (Takes some special effects from the more recent games.) with a moderately cliche plot. The choreographed fight scenes are done really well and flow beautifully. Love blood and gore but without the scary spooks? Hit it up.


~~ ahaha, I ended up saying so much.

Selfish - Asia Cruise.

Hours. I NEED THEM. Fcukin' mall outlets. The co-workers are great, love them all but it's the damn hours. I've kinda always wanted to avoid working at the mall but my friend came up big for me so I had no choice. It's a job. I feel like I've thrown away an entire semester to only work 4-8 hours a week. Bullshit. Nothing worked out the way I had planned. Mom's seriously annoyed at me for doing this. For working full-time and ditching class. It's the second-guessing that kills me. Not much I can do now but ride it out till spring, which is late January. Sigh. Along with helping pay rent, there's gas, food and the phone bill. Flat broke. How can they expect me to live on less than 10 hours a week? Oscar told me to get another job elsewhere because they're giving me half-assed schedules. Where can I go though with a month's experience? The holidays better come through for me. I need money ASAP so I can start saving.

Yeah. I'm already planning to move out. Talked it over with Oscar and he said his aunt has a place which we can rent for $1200 a month. Including his brother, we're gonna have to split rent $400 a piece if we end up taking the offer. It's not bad, the only problem is, school and work as usual. School won't allow me to do full-time and I need that in order to pay the rent. If I work 4 days a week, 6-7 hours a day, min. wage, I can still pay for rent and have money left over. School's always gonna be the same. That's a lot of stress to consider. Then there's mom and the family. Boy, next year is gonna be interesting.

On the flip side, the ass. (lol ass) manager is just a major flirt. Oh wells. She would have been nice to have. Frickin' girls. Pull your strings like a beeeeeshhhh. Anybody got scissors?

Shitfuckingshitfucks.

That settles it. I have the worst luck ever. Dx.

Green Light - John Legend ft. Andre 3000.

No post for two weeks. Must be a new record D:


Anyway, work is getting a little easier. Not as nervous with customers now lol, I just need to learn more about the shoe tech then I'll be able to reel them in like fishes :D. It would help if they provided me with a handbook of sorts on shoes cuz I'm really good when it comes to retaining information. Lectures aren't enough :\. Sometimes it feels like I don't know anything at all when I'm selling, I still manage to sell but there's not much self-satisfaction you know? Yeah, I'm one of those kinds of people who do things for self-improvement and reward other than just materialistic gain. In any case, I might have to research this stuff myself. Working outside of work. I'm probably the only person dumb enough to put so much into such a small-time job.

And yeah, if you haven't already guessed, I burned through my two checks as if they were matches. Fruitful spending. Now that I'm over the excitement of earning money, I'll be a little more thrifty. I still have to buy for people because I owe but nonetheless I need to save. I'm actually helping to pay rent now. $100 from every check goes toward rent, if I ever make over $100. Hours have been cut short. BOO. Damn stagnated non-holiday months. Moneyyss for the honeyyss. LOL. Just kidding :P. I ain't no pimp. Not like Barney and his posse.

~
Mixed signals eh? Two can play at this game.

You know what I've always wanted to do for the longest time?

To show every single person who has underestimated me that they're wrong about me. Throughout my life, I've sat through countless bawling and rants about this guy being a jerk, or this guy being a total douche. Enough. If you're getting hurt a second time then that's your own damn fault. Nobody commits the same mistake twice on accident. I'll help you lick your wounds but don't go telling me that I'm such a great guy and that it's a miracle I'm still single. It gives me a blatant reason to call you an idiot. Get yourself a pair of glasses and see for yourself. When you lose one sense, your other senses get stronger. You tell me what do I compensate for and how?

And yeah, I'm always known as the nice one. The guy who is relaxed, easygoing, down-to-earth with a gentle heart. The one who is always misunderstood. The one who never stands out. What's there for me to do to stand out? Flaring and doing the moonwalk? Isn't a mature heart and a caring nature good enough? Do we really have to add all these superficial things? Only jerks need such things to make up for the things they lack. Man, it's almost like saying you're ugly and that's something you gotta live with. I don't know why people hate on others based solely on their genes. How can you even do that? What in the world is wrong with you? Are you all of sudden, greater than God and all existence? Hey, if you look at God himself, he wasn't much of a looker was he? Wow. Fuck this.

Maybe this is why I still haven't found anyone yet. I rant too damn much and don't do a thing. Fuck that, I am doing something and this time, I think someone has found me.

Live It Up - John Legend.

Damn. It's been awhile hasn't it? Well work is busy as usual, which is the case for a brand new store. Come on by if you haven't yet and visit me :). We have a lot, and I mean a lot, of new shoes and apparel. Plus, on every first thursday of the month, I get 60% off for myself, family and friends. You'd do your best to remember that lol. It's quite a deal.

Anyway, I got paid like two days ago. About $220 which isn't bad. Taxes took like $60. Bitch. God I hate taxes. I also set up a bank acct. for myself at Wells Fargo yesterday. Now I be waiting on my debit card :]. Swipe swipe heh. The only thing that sucks is that I'm not working at all next week. It's so weird, I don't even know what's up with the scheduling. Some people are only getting like 10 hours opposed to their usual 30-40. I'm like the only one not coming in at all. Wtf? I need the money to keep on coming dude. I'm just barely experiencing the working/night life yet I get a whole week off three weeks into working. Something ain't right. Hopefully it's something they're trying to test out. Hopefully. (Prays). Well, at least on the bright side, I got some time to buy the crap I need like cologne, charger and headphones.

Last but not least, Mom's bday is tomorrow! Woo. I'm pretty excited because she usually never wants to celebrate it. She just lets it go. Now that Dad has passed away, we can't have that anymore. She needs to remember even when Dad is gone, she still got the four of us and we're gonna make her life the best ever because she deserves it. She is just so lovable :D.

Tired.

Phew. Work has been hectic once again. Good thing we're going through the last bit of it all. My fingers and forearms are seriously scratched up D: .

I also met my assistant manager the other day. She is pretty cool, a bit hard-driving with an attitude but overall, chill. We've barely met on the first day and she brings us both lunch and I get her number in the process. Damn. Already telling me about her ex-bf problems already and trying to delve into mine. Good thing/bad thing? Who knows. She's half-german and half-syrian, which is pretty interesting ;]. Heh, I get this weird vibe from her. Kinda sucks we're co-workers. I wish we could have met under normal circumstances. Oh wells. We'll see how things go.

Boxesboxesboxes.

Yo, sorry I haven't been blogging lately. Work has been a little hectic (Tuesday - Thursday for 9 hours straight) since we're moving to the new store. So many boxes... I have never seen so many in my life. Yeah, just hanging up apparel and carrying junk back and forth; the good stuff. Cardboard seems safe but it sure is tricky. I got a few battle scars to prove it. Lol. I could only imagine FedEx would be like this every day. Anyways, the co-workers all seem cool and really loose, even the managers. Nobody is really uptight. I haven't even started training yet for the folding and shoe tech but I think that's next week. We could possibly open up the end of next week or the week after. Eh. Depends on how things go. The district manager is coming tomorrow which I have the day off (Thank god :D.). Heard he's a real ass. Lucky break there heh.

So yeah, that's pretty much how the week was. Gonna run a few errands tomorrow and return some books and check out some more. When the store opens up, come visit! (It's right by Sports Authority. You can't miss it.) I'll most likely be there for the majority of the weeks, mornings through late afternoons. Drop on by but don't be a douchey customer on purpose :P.

~
FF Dissidia is getting addicting. Squall and Tidus ftw. They should have included Ramza though :\.

Work it out.

It's been awhile hasn't it?

First things first, I GOT HIRED AT REEBOK. :D:D:D:D:D. I start on Tuesday opening for training. So nervous yet excited at the same time. I really hope I don't mess up. It's my first real job so I have to try my best. Finally, some money of my own. Now I don't have to be broke all the time, or at least until I pay all my dues back. Mayflower anyone? Or better yet, TGI Sushi? Mhmmmm :].

Secondly, I'm going to get Tommy's HDTV. Hai-def gaming. Wooooo.

And I've been frequenting Barcode a lot as of late. What else can you do in this heatwave? Their combos are tastyyy.

Now we wait...

Interviewed at Reebok today at G-mall. I PRAY to god [even though I don't really believe in one. Make believe helps, if that makes any sense.] that I get in. There were several good signs but I can't get my hopes up. The interview itself, I think I did ok. I wasn't completely confident but instead moderately nervous :\. Oh wells. I'm never good at this kind of stuff anyway. If anything and I get hired, it would definitely help me overcome it, which is why I'm really tensed up right now [aside from the fact that I might finally be able to make money]. It all hangs on next week D:

Aside from that, nothing else to report.

Unbelievable.

Lost my phone two days ago due to a financial dispute with a long-term friend (We shared lines and she lent me a phone to use). I tried to help out with whatever I could but damn, I guess not. I just fcukin' hate it when friendships end over something ridiculous like money. Perhaps it's all about you. Lag on payments? Extra charges which is like $2-$3? I'm sorry I got my own life and my own shit to deal with, but then again, it's still all about you and your life. Who cares about what goes on in mine? I don't even lag on payments and still put in the extra $5 that you asked but nope, it ain't good enough. It always has to be something else, like gas. If you needed gas money, then you could have just asked. No biggie.

I honestly tried my best to help with your situation. I meant by no means to ruin anything. Maybe these little things I should have known myself. Perhaps I was too stupid to realize it because I was too busy trying to help you out. I understood your situation but sometimes, you just gotta say what's up. I'm not a psychic. Nevertheless, everything got shoved in my face at the last possible moment.

Now, I gotta open up my own plan. Maybe it's a sign. Whatever. No more being under anyone else. I'm taking control of my own life now. Everything that I own from now on, has to be bought with my own earned money. Tired of having people pulling my strings and deciding my actions. I have to thank my homies Bang and Oscar for coming through for me. Bang referring me to a possible job at Reebok and Oscar letting me get his old phone to reactivate and use. Much appreciation and love.

Friends, it's almost as vague as love, ain't it?

Ramblings.

You know, this loneliness is starting to piss me off a little. I used to be fine and dandy and not have a care in the world about being a loner. Ever since I had a girlfriend, things changed for the worst. We're still good friends but I find myself more attached than her. I seem to suffer from severe separation anxiety. Now you don't have to tell me twice. It's SO BAD.


You know, I've moved on. The past with her is just a memory of better/bitter days. Doesn't really get to me anymore, it's all just high school memories. Now it seems like I'm so attuned to her, I can't go about my day without talking to her. She sees me as her best friend, someone who is always going to be there for her, someone who isn't going to let her down, someone who would go out of his way to do something for her. She told me I'm a friend for life, as many others like Bang has bestowed upon me before. She tells me sometimes, I get way too clingy, even for a bestie. That doesn't sound too good right? We had a huge fight when she was with her most recent ex, total douchebag. Didn't talk for months.

During that period, I learned to get over her as a ex-gf. It felt good. I didn't have to worry about stupid shit like the past. Then when we came around to talking again, this was the time I started being clingy. Is there an explanation?

Ming: Why do you think Man is so attached towards Diemmi?
Dan: It's pretty simple. She was the only one who ever loved him or returned his feelings.

When Ming told me that conversation between him and Dan, I felt so stupid as to why I never thought of it earlier. This brief exchange of dialogue would forever stay etched in my brain. I guarantee it.

Yeah, I admit Diemmi was not that great of a girlfriend. Events that later unfolded gave her further demerit. But you know, at least she loved me for who I am before she went and changed. If you ask any of my closest homies, Bang being the best example, you would know how much I gripe about girls and their superficiality and such. Diemmi, being the only lady who up to this point, has dated me, is not a complete loss. Like I mentioned earlier, at least she LOVED me for me.

It took me a good 4-5 years to find a girlfriend. Believe me, some other people started way earlier, Diemmi included. I'll say this now, I rather find a lady and try to be with her for the rest of my life than going about a dozen relationships. Yeah people say you make mistakes and learn from them. I've made so many mistakes in life that I don't need another five-six relationships to teach me something about my naivety. Trust me, except the stupid obvious dumb shit criminals do and get into, I've been there. Talks with my brother, talks with my parents. I know a lot more now.

I try not to think about these things but it's hard. For someone like me at least. It's like, I need something to get it off my mind. Maybe I'm sticking around too much. But I've learned from that. If I ever have another lady, I would know what not to do.

Wait..what? I know I can be alone by myself for a good duration but now, it's getting TOO lonely.

But nobody really cares..? Like I said, they just be slapping me across the face. Sometimes people don't realize how much their words hurt.

Sponsor! Crisco!

Supsup homies. Not much over the past few days. School started Monday so yeah. If I haven't told you this already, I'm sorry but I'm not taking any classes this semester. FAFSA denied me and I've been too lazy to fix that shiz up. I also failed to realize that I was supposed to sign up for Fall at the same time I was signing up for Summer semester a few months ago. Yeah. My priorities have gone through the roof. I fcukin' hate it sometimes when I'm so lethargic/stupid. Eh. I've always envisioned myself not getting out of school until I'm way overdue. Bullshit 101 to family. I hate doing this to you Mom but it can't be helped. I don't want to hurt you but I already am by not taking classes this Fall. I feel as if something even worse is going to happen to me later. Like karma, you know? Fcuk. Shit's out of proportion and I let it get that way. Don't need to tell me I'm an idiot because I already know. I already know..

Anyways, just got home from hanging with Tammy earlier and talking about shit that's been bothering her. I hope I was at least of some help :\. To her, I'm pretty logical. Huh. Never saw myself that way. Some things you just don't notice till someone tells you. For once, somebody recognizes. Feels good. Most people are out of whack nowadays. Hit me up sometime to chill Tammy, if you're reading this. We just got home empty-handed from Quickly's. I think that's a sin D:

Other non-related stuff, MJ's death is officially considered a homicide. Shady stuff ain't it? Who would want to KILL the King Of Pop? Sick douches. Give him a break. Oh wait. Forget it. He's fcukin' dead. Supposedly it was his doctor who told him the day before to take sedatives and bump-ass pills so the next morning, he went and kicked the bucket. Like fell flat on his ass. Shit like that don't just happen out of nowhere. I had my suspicions. I'm sure everyone else did too. If you guys wanna check it, it's all over Yahoo and the news like CNN and whatever else like Cooper 360, 720, 1080, I don't know. But yeah, they say it's not a murder, but isn't that the same thing? I'll keep you guys posted.

If they do catch the culprit, they should burn him/her [I highly suspect it's his bitch-ass wife] at the stake. I KNOW RIGHT? SO IRONIC. OMG!!11ELEVENN11?!

~
"When was the last time we burned someone at the stake? It's been too damn long." - George Carlin.

Chilly In Frisco.

Went up to Frisco on Sat. with the guys to try the pho challenge at Pho Garden. It's essentially three large bowls of pho placed into one bigger bowl. Four lbs of noodle and meat. Mmm..sounds savory already. So yeah, we drove up to Fremont and took the bart there for like an hour. Waited around for some beezies who ended up ditching us. Fags. Bunch of otakus, about 120% of them were gay. Spent another hour looking for the restaurant. By the time we got there, we already had passed by several sushi bars and hot pot places so we were like, fuck it, let's go hot pot. It was pretty good, my second time having hot pot. The last time I went, I was like eight? Finished up there but everyone was still hungry. Walked around the venue some more until we found a random sushi bar. Ate there. I got the bento box, which btw, is TOTALLY worth it. Beef teriyaki and chicken katsu goodness :D. Teak ordered some lychee flavored sake and it fcukin' tasted like throwback medicine in the days. I was actually afraid to try it since it had alcohol, albeit not much but only because I'm allergic to it. Yeah. Go figure. It's weird. I mean, I'm not planning to become alcoholic [god forbid] but it runs in the family. My pops had it and my brother Sam has it.

Basically, our faces would get blood red, we start to get migraines and we'll become dizzy and flustered. All it takes is a couple of sips and we're done in D: . Even though Sam suffers, he still drinks like any normal alcoholic would. In fact, I believe it's not as strong of effects for him compared to my pops and I. I only recently found out that I have it. Fortunately, the alcohol content in the sake wasn't much, like 5%? I think it was really diluted by the other ingredients.

Got back to SJ around 9-ish, went to Mickey D's to pick up a vanilla shake and headed home afterwards. The guys went to go see The Goods, which is a movie that I wanna see as well but since I was pretty tired, I opted out. They even went to go eat again after the movie. Those guys sure aren't thrifty.

~
Have you ever been on a SF city bus? Them bus drivers are crazy.

District 9 and prawns?

Went to go see District 9 today with a few friends today at Century 21. It was actually a really good movie. At first I thought it would be just any other sci-fi alien movie like Independence Day or War Of The Worlds but it wasn't. Very original work and it had a documentary/action style that worked well together. The main themes are hidden quite nicely and you don't really expect anything until it hits you. Go see it. I recommend it, strongly :]. Peter Jackson did a number on this one.

DOLORIAN!

Went to Carmel Beach today with a few friends. We kinda got lost in Carmel City but eventually found our way. Lol. I'll tell you now, if you haven't been there, the residents are fucking richhhh. I can barely remember what cars we saw but holy shit were they nice :]. Vereak said the city is the host of Tour De Elegance or some shit like that where people come to show off their rides. Wow. I guess we came at the right time. Of course we took a shitload of pics, it was nearly irresistible. Not too many chances do you get to see so many McLarens and Lamborghinis in one place. We even spotted the Dolorian! A mo'fucking Dolorian. Lol. It was awesome. Props to Vereak on that one.

Aside from the massive roadshow of fine cars, the beach was pretty cool. Grilled some burgers, attempted to make a sand castle, scaring off flocks of seagulls, HIDING from flocks of seagulls and fighting in the water. The only thing that sucked was I got a headache around midday. Ko'ed on a blanket for a bit :\. Felt a lil' better on the way home though. Oh, and we stopped by Sonics. First time for me even though I didn't get anything. It was still really cool. Bellhops are the original old-school :].

Yeppp, this tan is coming along justtt fine :D.

This week in review. 5/5.

Let's review the past few days, or at least what I can remember =X.

Thursday - 8/6

~ Can't remember much here. All I know is that I was just chilling at home then Oscar calls me up to go to Barcode with him, Sinue and his brother Flavio. Get some shit there [Honey milk tea for me, like always :D. The people at Barcode should remember that whenever they see me because that's practically all I ever get. Saves time, you know?] Went to Oscar's place to hang and play some KOF XI or King Of Fighters 12. It's a good fighting game if you've never heard of it. Stayed until midnight, asked if I could borrow Fallout 3 and they did. Got Oscar to drop me off at home and started playing it. I'm amazed I never caught interest of it till now. It's pretty badass. Run around, steal, kill, maim. It's one of those you-can-do-whatever-the-fuck-you-want kind of games. It should keep me entertained for some time :D.

Friday - 8/7

~ Usual outing with the guys at Golfland [now crowned GL]. We actually left early for once because it seemed really dead. No real good players. No offense to those casual people but us EVC guys are really competitive :D. We're not assholes either like some people out there and Justin Wong, I mean you >:[. You deserved that 4-0 rapeage [Even though you won the competition] at the Gamestop SFIV tournament in Fort Mason by Daigo "The Beast" Umehara. It's almost like they invited him exclusively to kick Wong's jive ass and keep him in check. Anyways I digress. We hit up Denny's afterwards for some late-night grub and laughs. Returned Teak's psp cuz my brother wouldn't do it for free lol.

Saturday - 8/8

~ BBQ at Seacliff Beach in Aptos City[?] with my brother Tommy and his friends. It was pretty cool although I remembered faintly that I've been there before. [Or at least the beaches looked similar? :\. ] Whatever lol. Spent most of my time eating and drinking soda and Arizona iced tea. The food was really good, especially the ribs and flank steak. Mm..just thinking about it again makes my mouth water. We also had oysters but meh, they sucked ass. The ones Sam [brother] got at the family BBQ were so much better. Also worked in my tan a little because early on the sun was beating down on us. Got cold like artic cold around late afternoon / early evening. Huddled around the grill to keep warm :]. Tommy's homies are cool and laid-back. One of them is pretty hot ;]. Left around 7-ish, got home at 8-ish and just ko'ed. I wasn't able to get much rest the night before because I had to get up early, like at 9? Oh wells.

Sunday - 8/9

~ Chilled for the most part and spent some time looking for Marsh Rd. with a friend. Mountainside driving is actually pretty awesome. Those downhill, uphill climbs and s-turns were hard but manageable. I'll get used to it eventually. Came home, relaxed a bit then remembered I had to call Minh [brother] so we could hit up Fry's to get a new hard drive for my desktop. Got there, couldn't find any relatively cheap and worth the price so we decided to order online. 160 GB for $60. Untaxed. I say that's quite the deal. I love Minh and his hook-ups :]. Went to Barcode with Oscar and Flavio after that and kicked it at my house for a bit. We hit up Fry's again inbetween because Tommy wanted to get another copy of Need For Speed : Underground since the old one got scratched. Asked if I could get a game myself and he let :]. Grabbed Star Ocean 4, although I pondered Skate 2. The guys left after a bit and I stayed up pretty much the whole night to watch Sam get utterly pwned in Halo 3. Slept downstairs cuz it was too hot :\.

Today - 8/10

~ Hung out with some friends. Pretty early in fact. I haven't been sleeping in enough :[. Realized that gas was running out way too fast and found out Sam had left shit in the car's trunk, weighing it down. There was a heavy-duty car jack, a box of brake fluid bottles and a huge carton of coolant waste. That's like 50 extra lbs? Slapped myself for not realizing earlier since I would have saved myself more gas. Car felt slower too but I guess I didn't notice it until now. Got that shit out and into the backyard. Hopefully I can get out to the local gas station for a fill-up tomorrow before I go swimming at a friend's place at 10 [Yeah, I know. Pretty damn early right? Oh well. Feels like I'm still in summer school.]. It's running on empty.

Woah. Yeah. Babyy.

Old-school throwback rock songs. Oh yeahhh :].

Frisco.

Went to Frisco today with the fambam. It was aight, not much to do. We just walked around and such, grabbed some lunch at the Hing Lung restaurant (which btw, has bomb-ass porridge :D). Walked around some more. Exited Chinatown and headed to Pier 39 and Fisherman's Wharf. Saw some street performers doing their thing. Stepping on broken glass while its on fire, spray paint art. Not a bad day lol. Ate pho when we got back which sucked because I wanted chinese foood. Eh, the avocado shake kinda made up for it.



I still want to try driving stick in frisco. :].

Can you go to jail for stealing your own money? o_O.

Summer semester is out! Thank fucking lord. Actually, it wasn't that bad but I've always detested going to summer school. It was one of the things I had to do to catch up. Severely lacking on credits =X.

Anyways, had both my finals this week and they. both. started. at. the. same. time. on. the. same. day. 1:00 PM. Thursday. What did I do in this crisis? Well, I sat anxiously in math, jittering around until the professor handed out the final which I completely blazed through it (It was seriously too easy in my mind). Rushed my ass over to english and had writer's block for the first 10-20 minutes then got my brain ticking like a bomb that gets close to blowing everyone to hell but never goes off. Flew through that one with ease afterwards.

Finally done at 2-ish. Went home. I think I ko'ed? I don't know. Oh yeah, I just gamed my ass off.

Then I went to Golfland yesterday with the homies and ate at Denny's after. Lumberjack slam isn't so great, should have went for the All-American :\.

Got home, went straight to bed. ZzZzz...

Now I'm heading out to eat dim sum with the fambam :D.

Taken and Crank.

Hung out with Nancy and the guys today. She came around 3, even though we scheduled 2. Girls always make you wait lol. Anyways, we went to eat at Taco Bell and I got myself a Volcano Box meal. It was gooood, but some of the sauce dripped onto my pants ~_~. Now I gotta wash them by hand cuz I sure ain't spend another $1.25 at the laundromat for just those pants. Throat's feeling a little better, Nancy recommended lemonade but I got Pepsi instead cuz I'm whitewashed :P.

Well, a little.

Got back to Bang's place to watch a few movies. First one was Taken with Liam Neeson. I have to say, it was a really impressive movie for such a simple plot. I recommend it to those who haven't seen it yet. A good balance of suspense and action. Crank was the next. Really random movie. Half the time, it seemed like improv. Chester Bennington from Linkin Park made an appearance, although brief. I thought that was cool :].

We then sat around, talked about random stuff. Played some Halo until Nancy had to go home. Walked her out. Got home, rinsed because it was really hot today :\ and now I'm eating. Midterms for both English and Math tomorrow. The 60-page WP is due sometime this week and I'm only on pg. 36. I meant to finish it over the weekend but I got sidetracked. Bad me. Now I gotta cram. Actually, it's just a journal but I don't want to bs it. Sigh.

God my throat hurts so bad. Argh. D:

Hi.

Summer semester ends next week with two midterms and finals. Boo. D:

I wonder when I am gonna get out of EVC. Maybe...when I stop procrastinating. I've been feeling so lethargic lately though :\. Oh wells.


Found out recently that Tapioca Express is opening up on Jackson, which is pretty much down the street from my place. This other drink shop called Aroma opened last week (?) and it's not bad actually. I've only tried the iced vanilla latte frappuchino and it's gooood :]. Might give the other drinks a spin first before I can compare it to Quickly's and such. So far, it gets 3 scooby-doos out of 5.

And I've also learned not to ingest nearly 3/4 a bag of chips in one sitting. This sore throat is the result of my incompetence. Sadfaaaceee :(.

~

Totally got my ass kicked in SF4 by Oscar.

Watched Harry Potter today. I can't say much because I haven't seen any of the other movies. I was pretty much lost the whole time.

So tired.

;[.

Caught.

Lol, I just got caught having a porno page up when my mom walked into my room. I was too busy texting to even notice it was still up. I'm so careless lol.

Her reaction?

"You still so young! You so crazy!!! How dare you!? You not normal!!"

Mom, I think if I didn't watch porn, then I'd be considered not normal.

~

Well, I pretty much screwed myself. She sure as hell is gonna check up on me now more than ever. Sigh. This kind of sucks lol.

Wow. Has it really been one week since I last blogged? o_o.

Not that there's much to say though. Pretty dull week. Semester's half over and I still haven't signed up for Fall classes. ~_~.

~

Let's focus on me.

Hallo.

Not much happening this week. The usual Golfland trip on friday but before that, hang out session with Vereak, Mel and Val at Eastridge. Red Robbins...mmm :D.


The 60-page writing project [now dubbed WP] is a little tedious. It ain't hard, it's literally just a journal. Regardless, it managed to scare some people off in the first week. English doesn't get the recognition it deserves. It's pretty much equal to math in the real world but you don't see people running from math as often as you do English.

And you know what else grinds my shit?

You see all these vocational/prof. schools for computer programming, law, medical, automobile and cooking but not one specifically for English. Is it that general? Is it too general to have its own school? I know we all use it everyday but not everyone is proficient. Do you need to be proficient? "No", that's what you're probably thinking if you're reading this.

But you need to be proficient if you're doing law or medical for example. Am I right?

There are careers in the English field, numerous actually. But I see no post-grad. studies/schools for that. For everything else, there is. Why does English have to be singled out as generic? Does it mean that English majors are not as varied or versatile as say, nursing or CP majors? I believe people underestimate the need for English.

Perhaps I am speaking in favor because I am an English major myself.

~

Ah. The gripe of it all. Sometimes I'm afraid I think too much.

Happy Birthday America.

Spent the weekend at Justin's (Cousin from dad's side) house up in San Ramon for 4th of July. Took a few family photos and whatnot. Ate. Lori (Another cousin of mine) made cheesecake and it was pretty good for her first try. IT HAD POP ROCKS. Fckin pop rocks. The tingling sensation made me have a mouthgasm along with the white and dark chocolate glazed on top. My god. Decadenceee overflow. Later that night, Justin, Victor (Yet another cousin :P) and me took bart all the way down to Pier 39 in SF to catch the fireworks show. A few pictures of it are on my FB. Check it homies. Anyway, it was pretty cold there, like 40 degrees? Yeah, the streets were really crowded and it was tiring getting back home. I pretty much ko'ed when I stepped into the house :X.

And now I'm back home. Sigh. I miss them already. The kids were so hyper and they gave me so much attention. I feel so loved :). Aight, I'mma head outss. Gonna KO again on my bed for school tomorrow.

Rawr.

Be cool B).

Christina Vo.

I don't know if she's into me. We've only talked a few times. She does return my calls. I know that's being nice but I keep hoping for more. After all, she was the one who came up to me. There has to be something she sees in me that no other girl so far has seen.

And that makes me wonder. It's been on my mind these past few days. What is it that made her approach me, besides the fact that my story was "touching"? Would things have been different if I chose not to tell that story? I don't know myself. I give myself the possible scenarios and I'm just not so sure about it. I've been single for six months, which is half a year and I've finally moved on from my past relationship. But when I think I'm free from all worries, life snaps me back into the vortex of interest and attraction. It was hard getting over my first real love, it really set me back quite a number. Now I'm cautious of what may and can happen. I'm playing my cards carefully. Fate does not deal me a cruel hand, I deal the cards myself. I know not what can be possible and impossible. Just when my detachment from love sprouted its first roots, it is ripped out by force. Can the timing be anymore perfect?

The things called love are just...

Go away.

You want to know what annoys me more than wannabes and people who don't signal?


And that I also cannot understand?


Girls. Especially those who complain and whine about their bfs acting like stupid idiots and not doing a damn thing about it.


I can only understand women.


Maybe my expectations are too high.

Pisces.

So I took this supposed astrology quiz about my birth calendar on FB.

And this is what it says:

~ The Week Of The Loner - Pisces 2 March 3 - 10 ~

You live in a private world all your own. Your home is a retreat from the world, where you admit very few. You tend to isolate yourself more then what is good for you. You have a distinct dislike for superficiality; you mistrust loud, aggressive or pushy people and find it hard to work with people who lack sensitivity. Grace, honesty and an unassailable aesthetic and moral code prevent you from acting underhandedly or particularly hurtful. You have elegance and grace in all that you do, you are a great admirer of sensuous beauty, particularly in people and paintings and you give your home a special touch. You have a strong soulful side and have empathy for all forms of human suffering. You see a distinct difference between being lonely (which you rarely are) and being alone (which you are often) You can become addicted easily to drugs, drink, sex. You crave peak experiences. You ask only to be accepted as you really are. You have few friends that you are close and loyal to. You can be snagged by a pretty face, sensuous voice or alluring body. Once attached to someone it becomes an addiction and when you decide to be free of your love object you experience powerful separation anxiety. Strengths: Soulful – Intimate – Graceful Weaknesses: Reclusive – Disappointed – Suffering .


It's scary accurate o_o. Like Bang says: "On the spot."

T2: Revenge Of The Fallen.

I watched Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen tonight.


It. was. EPIC.


Ending was kinda anti-climatic. I won't ruin it for you though :]. Go see it.


DO IT.


And yep, Megan Fox is still hot. Those eyes...so mesmerizing.

Sad Day.

R.I.P. Michael Jackson. You were boss. Amazing singing voice and fluid dance steps. No one can imitate what you do. It's so sudden that you had to leave us but we will always remember you as The King Of Pop. Always.

:D:D:D:D:D

Something that happened yesterday made me really happy. So happy that I forgot to blog about it.

So here we go:

I get to class around 10, sit down and wait for the prof. to arrive. In the mean time, I tune up some jams on my ipod [Relient K ftw] for about 15 min. until the prof. comes. He tells us to arrange the seating so that we all sit in a circle facing one another. We do self-introductions where everyone gives everyone else a lil' background on themselves. It gets to me. Like always, I'm nervous because I am never good at these kinds of things [though I have to say, I improved a lot more than before]. Anyway, I tell how I came here when I was 2, be the youngest of 4 sons, and how I take care of my mom and clean up after my 25+ year old brothers who always leave junk around the house. I also listed that I enjoyed art and other random shit. Then I went on about my childhood and how it was like growing up. I told them this one story that I have rarely shared with anyone until now. When I was younger, my aunts and uncles would always ask me, "How come you don't look like any of your siblings or either of your parents?" I had no answer for them. Like the curious little boy that I was, I went to ask my mom. She said: "Oh. We found you in a trash can one night when your dad and I was walking home. Somebody left you there and didn't want you so we took you home with us and raised you." I can't even begin to describe how depressed I was at that point [can't blame me, a 8-year old brain can't possibly fathom shit like that.], and how I continued to feel like so for 3 or more years. Once I saw pictures of my mom of her younger self, that's when I realized it. I confronted her again and she was like, "Of course it isn't true. You're stupid if you believe something like that." ~_~.

That cracked the whole class up. Some went awwww. I didn't know whether to smile or not lol.

ANYWAYS. To the main point. Class ended shortly after everyone was done talking about themselves and we had to rearrange the chairs back to how they were before. When I was done, I turned around and some girl was like, "Hi. I'm Christina. I sit on the other side. I was really touched by your story. Aww. If you ever need a friend, I'm here for you." Awkward much....? I mean, she seems sweet and is cute but damn, I never expected something like that to happen.

Not many girls introduce themselves to me. In fact, I can't even remember the last time someone did that.

I felt so happy afterwards. She made my day :]. For once in a long time, my heart was at ease for a brief time.

I talked to her again today. I asked if she wanted to chill or something tomorrow and she said sure. :). She also invited me to sit next to her in class so we could get to know each other more. I know I sound like a total loser right now but bear with me, this is seriously the first time I've been this happy in awhile. If anything, I can't lose this chance to get to know someone who can acquiesce my pain. {Acquiesce is another word for ease.]

Sigh.

:D.

Happy Father's Day.

Happy Father's Day to all! :]. Do something for your pops for once.


~

A time to reminisce the memories when Dad was still around for me. All those days taking me to school and tutoring. All those times going out to eat. The times where the family would come together for a nice home-cooked meal. Sigh. I miss him so much. He was such a good role model. Hard working, dedicated and incredibly kind and compassionate about what he does. He always put family first, no matter what. Even old age couldn't stop him from working. He was 64 and was waiting tables at a senior retirement home. He's had so many jobs before, from the time he came to Vietnam to the time he got cancer. He always wanted the family to be happy, he kept working so he could provide for us, even when my brothers were already doing that themselves. He believed a person should never stop giving. He gave his soul to the family. He loved us all so much. Everybody misses him. He was always so pure and forthright. Never gambled nor drank. He even gave up smoking for my mom. Now that's love. A lot of people say I resemble my dad, with his morals, his generosity and his capacity in doing what's right for his family and friends. I hope for my sake, they are right. There would be no other person I'd try to emulate but my dad. In my eyes, he's a hero. Even though he's sitting up in heaven now, watching us go on with our everyday lives, he's smiling.
Not because he has attained peace and nirvana but because he can keep watching over us, guiding us so we can succeed in life, even when he's not here.

I miss you Dad. I really do. I just wish we were able to spend one last Father's Day together before you passed away. We'll do it in your memory. Regardless, you will always be here, in our hearts and you will never leave it.

I love you Dad.

Haruka Ayase.

Have any of you seen the J-drama Cyborg Girl? It's soo good. So many twists and turns. My head felt like it was spinning. I still haven't figured everything out...

I need to watch it again. I don't mind. The actress is so cute and adorable. The guy is so lame and helpless.

Kinda reminds me of me :\.

~EDIT



Haruka Ayase, the main lead in Cyborg Girl. She's also a model. Fuckin' fine, not just cute or adorable :D.

Sadness is what I demonstrate.

Funky dream last night. It didn't make any sense. She still lingers in my mind. Why won't she leave? I want you out of my life. Please go away. I've enough of you. You've wrecked me so bad.

Why is it that nobody can accept me for who I am? Am I different from all other guys? Is there something about me that girls can't understand?

Somebody tell me what's going on.

I need...comfort. I feel so cold and lonely. These nights just sitting here. These nights laying in bed, being unable to sleep because of the many thoughts running through my mind. Where is that one thought that is capable of keeping me happy and content? I've become such a frail and helpless person. Somebody help me forget.

Of course fool, it's not here. It's not going to be for a long time. Something is deliberately keeping me away from realizing the secret behind all this. For how long must I wait? And why?

~

Why....?

Day By Day - Big Bang.

PHEW, IS IT HOT TODAY OR WHAT? Tomorrow is going to be even worse ~_~.


Sam got crawfish and shrimp [I call them mudbugs] today from SJ Crawfish on capitol. It was gooooooood :D.



~

I had an epiphany last night. I'm suddenly drawn into the korean craze. Bang's shocked, Ming's surprised and Mel [Melissa] is happy.

Sigh. I knew this was going to happen sooner or later.

Rawr.

Friday Night - The Click Five.

Got woken up at 10, asked to take Sam's(brother) GF home and I do it, she offers to fill up the car. Come home, mess with teh comps for a while then head out to eat with Ming. He got chalupas from Taco Bell and I got mcChikkens (yes, that's how I spell it.....actually, it was a typo and I went with it.) with a large drink from Mickey D's. Chilled at his place until 8-ish, went home, ate curry and completely destroy Sam at SFIV, even with my scrubbish Ryu, Ken and Rose skills. Shouldn't have called me out :].

No idea what I'm doing tomorrow, maybe work out a bit or something. Outing on Wednesday with Melissa, Vereak and Val before Mel leaves for Texas. Froyo ftw :D.

~

Summer semester's starting in a fucking week. Breaks never last long enough.

Six Flags.

We went to Six Flags today.

Rode rides.

Walked around and saw some animals. Most of them were sleeping lol. We also watched a sea lion performance. Damn those sea lions are smart.

Went to Denny's and ate. Got home.

Tired and sleepy.

Good night.

Graduation was ok. Alot of people though. Went to eat pho afterwards and chilled at Bang's place. No golfland tonight and no bbq tomorrow. Bummer ~_~.

Drive - Incubus.

Got two graphic tees, smooth cargo shorts and skinny jeans.

:D.

Leyva's graduation tomorrow at 3 at Indy's big gym. I can't believe it. Patrick (cousin) is becoming a freshman in high school D:. They grow up so fast, I can still remember the times where he was such a handful as a toddler. Yes. I helped my mom babysit when I was younger. There's nothing wrong with that. I love kids. Plain and simple. Can't wait until I have a few of my own :].

Then the usual friday night outing with the guys. I don't know what I'd do on a friday night without them :].

And last but not least, BBQ courtesy of Tommy (eldest brother) on saturday. I love BBQ's. Did I mention that he's gonna give me his 21'' hdtv after he gets his 50''? I feel so bad for being such a moocher. Well, I applied at Van Huesen so we'll see what happens.

Mo' Money, Mo' Problems - Notorious B.I.G. ft. P. Diddy & Mase.

The muscles. They are forming. I am getting cut :D.

-

Gave my car a wash yesterday, phew it's fucking hard work. I rather take to it to a car wash next time. But then there's that feeling of a job well done when you do things yourself. I kinda like that feeling.

I applied to Van Huesen, yes the one at G-Mall. I desperately need this job. I really hope I get an interview, then get hired. *Prays. I don't really care if I have to deal with teeny boppers thuggin' out with their oversized hats and gang-affiliated attire that they're not even aware it's gang-affiliated, money is money. I need money to spend. I owe several people dinners ~_~. Damn me and my promises.

Yes, Tammy. If I get hired and once I get my paycheck, I'll get you your sushi.

FUCK.

I. hate. this.

Hard.



~

Hangover was a really good movie.

Day at Nancy's

Hung out with Nancy [Hi Nancy, if you're reading this :] ] for the whole day today. We were just gonna be outside and talk and whatnot but in the middle of our conversation, she got stung by a bee and we both started going crazy a lil'. Luckily, I pulled it out in time and we went inside her house so she could get some ice on it. It swelled but a hour later, it seemed okay. Her friend Ian from middle school came by and we all hung out together. We watched movies, ate junk food, read web comics and told stories. Oh yeah, we also took lots of weird pictures because Nancy felt like camera whoring lol. She had this really cool Clone Trooper helmet from Star Wars and I could NOT resist wearing it. I think half the time I was there, it was on me :D. I also saw Juno for the first time, although I didn't really get to pay attention because Nancy was ribbon-dancing in front of me. Not that I have a problem with that of course :]. She's really good at it.

And yeah, it was a really cool day. Her boyfriend dropped by for a few minutes, it felt kinda awkward but w/e lol. I just got home, I didn't even expect to hang around for all that long, maybe for a few hours but I ended up spending the whole day there. Again, not that I have a problem :]. We should do it again sometime.

Week 1.

Summer break started a few days ago and I've begun my conditioning.

LOL. Well, sort of. I've only started weight lifting but not running because I've been lazy to get up. Next week, for sure. 8 am every morning for one hour. I think I'm going to switch off every week to balance everything out and make sure I don't overwork myself, like running this week and working out the other, then running the next, etc. Yeah, sounds like a plan :].

~

My brother is such an incompetent fool. He keeps downloading unauthorized files laden with malware, spyware and trojans. I then, have to go through the trouble of cleaning them. Fuck it. He's gonna get his own account on this computer but it will have restricted access. That means NO downloading whatsoever. Argh. I'm so sick of his shit. He just doesn't listen. How can someone who's 30+ be so stupid?

What, seriously?!

Wow. I didn't know it could end up like this. How stupid of me to let things fall so far. What a waste of fucking time.



Now I've learned to not invest so much in something.

FOOLISH BOY.

I feel like I just got shot. right. in. the. fucking. face. Like. BAM. It's over and I'm done.


Yeah. This is pretty much the worst feeling in the world right now.

Cramps.

First workout session and I get extreme arm cramps. My arms can only stretch outward to 90 degrees D:

Supposedly this is normal. I hope it is. I need to get used to this kind of work -_-.



~~~

Sorry for my belligerent outburst. I had to let out some steam. I'm ok now. :D.

Conditioning.

I've decided to start training and dieting. These past few weeks, I've been pondering about getting a better physique and having more confidence. With confidence, I can ACTUALLY start getting a job, among other things ;]. I sort of have a yearning to learn Muay Thai but I know it's going to take extreme conditioning and muscle workout to get there. I need to start lifting weights, running and stretching and I need to this DAILY. I also gotta watch what I eat. Can't eat sloppy no'mo :]. That rules out fast food [once a week is fine] and other fatty products.

One of the reasons why I'm doing this is because some assface called me out and pronounced the oh so charming words of "Don't let me catch you on the streets." If I ever do end up fighting the braggart, I'm going to make sure I bust his ass and lay him flat. Actually, I want to choke him out from behind. Yeah. That's how bad I want to humiliate him. I've already started lifting weights. I just have to stay focused and persistent. Muay Thai has always interested me as a kid anyways. It's the perfect time to start. I don't know if I'll ever get the money to pay for actual lessons but the conditioning is good enough even if I don't get to learn it.

I know some of you may laugh, but this is serious. I'm being serious. I've got all this pent-up rage since middle-school and if I'm going to let it out, I'm going to use that energy to fuel myself.

Phew.

My mom went and got a perm today. Now she looks like Jackie Kennedy, except with magenta-colored hair.



And it's still like a furnace.

Cook an egg on the sidewalk.

I took my english 1a final on friday. I think I did a horrible job D;



Anyyywayyy, I'm trying to work things out with a friend of mine. We've liked each other before but certain things in life separated us, or well, I separated us. We're gonna start over and see how things go. Hopefully well :].



On a side note, it's really HOOTTT. My car is like a furnace whenever I get in it. Omg. Black interior does not help at all. I also burned myself washing it yesterday. Rawr.

RAWR.

Scraped up against a concrete pole while parking yesterday. Gased it a little too much and sckreechh. It was all bad. Ruined a $800 paint job.

She got her first scar and it's all my fault D:

WOW.

Remember the trip to SF for dress shopping?

YEAH. I got fined $31 for skipping the toll booths on the Golden Gate bridge. I just got the letter today notifying me of it. Wtf. I don't remember seeing any at all. They have my license plate number and everything. -_-.

Well, there goes my clean driving record. Oh man. ~_~.

FMLH.

Happy Mother's Day :D

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there. :].


I hope you beezies are doing something special for your moms today.

Namesake.

Watched a movie for English 062 today. It was called Namesake and Kal Penn from Harold & Kumar starred in it. It was a really good movie, lots of connections to religion, kinship and love. It expresses how important it is to maintain a steady relationship between your family. It teaches you how to control a balance between these things and still lead a happy life.

There was a quote from the movie that I really admired.

"When you read, you travel without going an inch."

I just thought it was really nice and inspiring :].

I hate this. Somebody save me.


Somebody please return the favor.

Superficial.

Come for the looks. Stay for the personality.




Who came up with that? Slap yourself. Really.

SF!

Drove to Frisco today with the lot (Bang, Jesse, Jenny) so Jenny could look for a prom dress. An hour and something minutes later, we couldn't find anything. I was pretty tired (Did drive for an hour and half) so I switched off with Bang on the way home. Randomly found an asian plaza that had Ranch 99 while looking for a pit stop. We all picked up some snacks and drinks then headed home. Usual singing and screwing around while being recorded antics to pass time. My panda bear got molested :( and Bang decided to get dinner at Pho Tau Bay near Hostetter. I had Bun Bo Hue, that shit is money :D then some honey milk tea (orgasmic!) from Barcode. Dropped off Jenny at Tammy's and chilled at Bang's place for awhile till I had to go home.


Man, I'm pretty shot but today was fun. Got the experience of personally driving to SF, among other things lol.

As for the previous days, I can't seem to remember how they went.

Oh yeah. I sat home and gamed.

Goodbye :].

Man.

Guess what? My front right tire blew out yesterday. YES. Another tire went out. I could not speed past 50 or else the spare would flop. That automatically eliminated the freeway. Boo. :(.

New set of tires will come in tomorrow and we'll get 'em on then which is good because I've plans for SF on saturday with some friends.

Only one more day then I could speed legally again. :).

Fcuk you.

Fuck life. Nothing good ever seems to happen to me, even when I try to make it so.




"In times of need, I am remembered. In times of peace, I am forgotten."

- Just a little something from a video game I played a few years back.

Phew.

Man, this heat wave is driving me crazy. I have to shower twice or even three times a day now. ~_~.

Good times, good times.

Friday nights at Golfland then being loud and boisterous at Denny's for three hours into the night was awesome. Sam got in my face because he and his girlfriend was drunk and needed a ride. I don't know why they didn't designate a driver. I told him to wait till I was done eating but he got all up in my face (technically speaking) about it. Dumbass. I have to wait forever for him to do shit (sometimes he even cancels, not just me but on my mom too) for me and he can't even spare an hour or two for me. If anything, he could have just fucking sat in the car and waited till he sobered up enough to drive home. Honestly, this is why I don't like getting drunk. But the guys made everything better. We were slapping jokes at each other, plain ol' fucking around for three hours, laughed at anything. For an hour, I felt naturally high, like I couldn't stop talking or something. Ah. Good times, good times. Sam woke me up the next morning at fucking 8. I got home at like 3 something the night before and he still wakes me up to take him to work. He just had to make me miserable for not picking him up the other night, which was totally his fault to begin with.

So I went out later in the day with Christina and two of her friends, Esther and Tim. I picked Christina up around 12:30ish (kinda got lost finding her house), went to De Anza so she could buy her books. Tim was there too so we picked him up as well then went to go fetch Esther. Proceeded to the movies, deciding that we should watch I Love You, Man. Lol. We got there half an hour late of the 2:00 showing so we got tickets for the 4:30 instead. Walked around the mall to kill some time. I actually found a wall scroll of FFVII Advent Children's Sephiroth. It was seriously, like the perfect scroll for my room ~_~. The only problem, it was too small for my taste. Anyway, we headed back to the theaters to catch our movie. I have to say, I Love You, Man is tripping balls funny. We were laughing and hollering the entire time. There was never a dull moment. That movie was really kinda homo-ish but in a good way. I strongly recommend that you guys go see it. By far, one of the year's best comedies xD.

The movie ended around 6:30 and Esther decided that we go eat at this one place called Sushi-Maru downtown. It was actually pretty good, the beef teriyaki was delish :]. She then wanted Fro-Yo, a yogurt place but we couldn't find parking (you know how downtown is at night) so we ended up going to Barcode to get some drinks. Several of Christina's friends showed up, even Raul, the guy from my wood shop class at Indy. He showed me his car and god damn, that was a fine piece of machine. Classic corvette with polished white finish, 2 door with an obnoxiously but satisfyingly loud engine. Ah. I so wanted to take a spin in that. We got bored eventually and started playing 13 until Christina had to leave. Dropped off Esther at her place and here I am now.

Phew. Two long days. It was fun though :]. Feels like spring break just started but tomorrow's already Sunday then fucking Monday with class. FUCK YOU Farber. You're terrible. I don't care.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. I know. No post in awhile.


Well, I've been trying to finish up my research paper for 1A but spring break tells me otherwise. I'm almost done though, honest 0:). Then I gotta do my asian-american author presentation for 062. What a drag. Break was supposed to be a worry-free week.

Sam brought home equipment to do the oil change. FINALLY. I swear I was going to pay someone else to get it done. He always takes forever. I should learn to do it myself. As far as brotherly love goes, this is the only part I hate about him. He does quality work but he stalls alot. He also came with some stereo junk? It seemed like he ripped it from another car or something. I don't know if it's for me but hopefully it is. Anything is better than the one I have now. The sound in my car creates deaf ears. ~_~.

A little bit of insomnia struck me for a few days but it's gone now. Anyways, I'mma get to bed. Nights and sweet dreams. :].

~
Sometimes I wonder if we are ever going to stop fighting. It's getting really pointless now and all we ever feel like doing is smiting the other. When will it end?

Mmm.

Went get some wings from Cluck You today, now known as Smoke Eaters. It was gooood.







~
The pain is getting a little unbearable. I just want to get out of here.

Yo.

A research paper draft to write over Spring Break. Joy.

Screw you Farber. I like english, but I don't like you teaching it.



But yeah, I just found out the other guy is a rebound for her. Pitiful.


Sigh. Why the fuck do I worry about these things still?

THUG.

Alot can happen in a day.

It happened today.

I'm walking out and never coming back. Spent two years following a blind cat pretending she could see. See what? See if any nigga is willing to let her swallow his meat. Life goes on, but life is fuckin' hard when you try to be there for somebody who don't got your back in the streets. What happened to respect? What happened to loyalty? Do you get so caught up that everything is a haze like fuck this, I don't want to be trapped in any maze. I thought you liked challenges, that's why I gave you a test. I wanted to see if you were gonna be smart, gonna be like someone who ain't part of the crowd. I guess not because you never even tried, you took my advice and shoved it to the side. What's the point? There's no point in trying, you don't even care. All you ever think about is how you gonna make them stare. The craziness is happening, this ain't right at all. They say pride usually comes before the fall. You tell me to bleed to make you smile and I'd probably do it. You can ask him to do the same, he'll probably be like NIGGA PLEASE. Do you think it's right to do whatever you like? Getting caught in this stupid lovelife. Maybe one day you will see, that how troublesome life can be. Getting into an accident and coming back from half-dead, you be thinkin' that hard but it ain't. Try being the one to witness, to see it all unravel. In fact, try being there when it all happens. To get hurt, yeah that's pretty bad. To see someone else get hurt, now, that shit is just sad. Have you ever stopped and think, damn, they were always there. For a time when I was dying, they be holding on to me like I was a worth a million. Yeah, you probably thought about that but now it doesn't matter. You all better now, no one else counts.

You never been scared, you don't know how its like. You a spoiled little brat, that what you's always gonna be. I'm done with you now, its straight up GG. Keep yourself away from me, I don't need you anymore. In fact, needing you was never my intention. You were like an obligation I had to keep. Now that I'm free, I can do whatever I want. I don't have to care about you, not no more especially when you got pimps and gigolos who can be your sugar daddy and feed you your bottle. Maybe a pacifier too if you're that brittle.

Thug life. It's how I'm gonna be. I roll sixteen-deep, it will be with all my boys and girls. Don't worry Momma, you will be there too. There ain't nothing like kicking it with an OG, you know its true.

I'm glad you're gone, outta my life.

Because this shit has gone on too long.

There ain't nothing left. The only thing you have left to pick up is probably your thong.


~Thuglife. Forreal. Tammy, Sauron, all my homies out there who care. I love you all. Thanks for being there. If there's anyone to slap me in the face and not get arrested, it's you guys.

LET U GO

I finally got my desktop fixed. Yay. The hard drive hardly has any space though, like 10GB? Ipods nowadays hold up way more, let alone PS3's. Whatever. I hope to get another hard drive with more space and maybe replace my fan. A new processor wouldn't be bad either. This desktop's wares are really outdated. Maybe when I have a job.

Anyways, people giving me problems again. It's ok though. I'm trying to not stay so attached. I've also been hooked on TLR (The Last Remnant) for the 360. I think I might need to start playing those other games that I got. Don't want to waste all that money spent.

And I have a strange urge to head to the movies. It's been awhile.


Oh yeah, my car needs an oil change. Sam got into an accident. Got to wait till Wednesday. I hope he feels better. I'm probably gonna go visit him. I wonder what happened?


Yeah, I'm staying up late again on school nights.

~_~.

I knew this day would come.

A lot of things have been happening lately. Some of which I'm NOT fond of.




Boy, you were really thinking that day. This is why I'm always so scared that you're gonna do something stupid, get used and get fcuked over. Phong called you a slut and you even admitted feeling slutty when we kissed two years ago on your b-day. We were just friends then, no girlfriend-boyfriend status, not even friends with benefits. All of sudden, you go and slobber yourself with one of my long-time friends and don't consider THAT slutty? Sigh, what the fuck man, what the fuck. You always tell me I do things without thinking. Turn inwards and examine yourself before you say anything like that. I don't care if you read this but I just had to say it. I've been holding it for too long.



We barely even talk anymore.

"Don't worry about it."

How can I not? When it comes to you and being your best friend, I have to, whether I want to or not.

Hi.

Life is getting hard again. Wtf. I'm barely keeping up with this blog now.

RAwRr.

Random blah.


It's been getting hot lately.


My birthday was boring. Didn't do anything. Oh wells. It was expected.

20.

Yeah. I got caught dozing off in class today. Nancy called and kinda kept me up until 1ish the night before. I suppose I can let it go because we haven't talked in awhile. So yeahh, I feel really drowsy right now [not to mention shitty] since I just got up from a nap. Probably gonna go back to sleep soon.


Anyway, my birthday is tomorrow. The oh-so-close-but-not-close-enough age of 20. Damn. I feel ancient. Booo.


I have no idea what I should do. I honestly don't even care much. Parties were never really my thing. I mean, I love going to them but hosting them, I'm terrible at it. Besides, it usually slips on by as if no one even notices but me. It's a Tuesday too. Pretty bad day to have a party.


So..yeah. I'm out.

>:[

It's cold and I am sick. Don't feel like blogging.


but I did anyway because it's here for a reason.


I hate being sick. I never really get sick, but when it happens, I fcukin' hate it.


The End.

two-fiddy.

Woo. I aced my paper and my quiz today for english. I am so destined for this crap. I even tutor now.

Yay.

Yawnn.

School's getting tougher. I dropped Art 090 simply because it was too damn early. I can't do early anymore D:

And 4 Eyes

So I got my reading glasses today. I'm thinking of changing the frame though, it's a bit too skinny for my taste. I like it a little thick ;].


ANYWAY.

I might just start wearing it to school for the hell of it. It doesn't hamper my vision at all and I've always wanted to try it.

Woo.

heyyy

I tried SFIV at Teak's house yesterday. It was awesome even though I got my ass handed to me most of the time. Whatever. The graphics were damn good.

and

It's been raining TOO much lately. Rawr

Rawr.

I hate going to the DMV now. I used to think it was alright because I didn't really see what was pissing people off about it. Naive me.

Partyy.

We [Tammy, Francisco and I] celebrated Sammy's bday party today. Happy 18th birthday! I love you :D.


Anyway, we had original plans to go to a buffet then the movies but they decided there was gonna be too much driving around and back. We just ended up going to AMC Eastridge to catch one movie, which was Coraline. It was pretty ok but I actually wanted to see Friday The 13th. Sammy and Francisco were fcukin' up for it but Tammy wussed out. Sammy didn't want to leave her so we went to watch some PG instead. Whatever. Afterwards, we walked our asses all the way across the parking lot from Macy's to In N Out because the birthday girl was dying for some. I tried animal fries for the first time and I have to say, I don't see what's so great about it. Maybe it's because it's my first time? I don't know. Didn't taste all that different from regular fries which I prefer with just salt and pepper. Oh well. Everyone got dropped off eventually and here I am now.

Francisco killed us as usual, busting our guts till we almost died. I almost miss kicking it with him :P. I dropped a quarter and as I was reaching for it, his beaner instincts kicked in and he went for it too. I beat him to it but the problem was, he @!#^&! stepped on my hand with his giant shoe >:[. It wasn't cool. Now I have a damn bruise.

I don't feel all that tired but it's all good. It was still fun nonetheless :D.

Brrrr.

Woo. It hailed today and rained like a bitch. I also ran into several ditches that caused severe splashage of water all over the car. It was funn driving today :].



Sammy's b-day is only two days away. Woo.

Sup.

Hey all, it's been awhile. School is finally catching up to me and I get too tired at the end of the day to blog :[. However, I'm still gonna try my best to keep it alive [more or less].

Sammy's birthday party is this Friday and I'm fairly excited :]. I haven't partied in a long time and I need a break from school, ya feel me? I got her two albums of her two favorite artists, David Archuleta and Ne-Yo. Yeah. It was $30 something plus tax. I think my present will be the most expensive one she'll receive. I'm so proud of myself :D.

Church with Meliza has become a weekly thing now. It's every Friday at 7 and it's pretty cool. Just a bunch of teenagers chillin' in the name of God :].



It was so cold this morning. Brr.

Bummer.

Guess what? I woke up this morning to only realize that I had a flat tire. What a great way to start off the day.

and it was from a tiny screw. It's like wedged in there. Tire replacement asap D:

Manniepoooo.

Wow. Tonight was a blast. I think my stomach is still hurting.


and Manniepoo? Not cute at all. NOT. AT. ALL.



but you're welcome to call me that. It makes me feeel speciall.

Insomnia.

Haven't been sleeping well these past few days and I have no fcukin' clue why. It's driving me crazy especially since I try to sleep early but I can't even fall asleep until two hours later. I feel drowsy in class and overall the whole day and my eyes are hurting like fcuk. This is whack, there's almost no point in trying to sleep early anymore. Thankfully tomorrow's the weekend (in college terms) so I can sleep in. I need it.

Welcome back pt. 2

I'm back after so long.

I gave up on my desktop after trying to fix it so many times. The hard drive is completely busted and I have to get a new one but I don't want to. I decided to just get a new laptop instead. Problem is, I don't have it yet. For now, I'm using the one my brother lent me.


Oh yeah, classes began today. I hate going back to school.

HI.

My computer went retarded for the past few days hence my 3-4 day hiatus on this blog. During that period, I found salvation from boredom in watching television and dvd movies. 300 and Transformers will never get old in my book.

and That '70s Show is a fcukin' riot.



_________________________
Check this song :

Welcome Back - Mase.

HA.

Just something I wanted to share with you guys. I can't get enough of this world and those who inhabit it :D.

Save me.

I'm on a mission to find myself some meaning. I feel as if I'm missing something.

Soulfiyah.

So I went with Meliza tonight to her christian youth group. It was more casual than I thought it would be. I think I might attend some more :].


Don't know how mom is gonna take it though :\.

Sigh.

Omg. School's almost here again. I want this break to last forever.

TGI SUSHI :D

So I took my mom to the temple today [as I usually do every Sunday] for her service. While she was doing it, I sat around and then noticed a book laying on a desk with a chair. It was called Strangers From A Different Shore by Ronald Takaki. The author sounded familiar because he wrote one of the books I used for US History 17A. I sat down, opened up to a random page and from there on, I couldn't stop reading. It was so good that I wanted to just take it and leave. It talks about Asian minorities immigrating and settling in the Americas. I recommend it to those who aren't lazy to read a book for once. It's a great way to learn about your heritage, if you're Asian that is.


I went to the flea market today with my family because I had nothing else to do. I got another beanie, a brown one. I'm in love with beanies now. Caps can suck it.

Afterwards, we decided to get some dinner at a buffet. On the way there, Sam suggested we try some sushi instead. I questioned if that was even gonna fill us up.

Man, was I wrong. That place was THE SHIT. I died and went to heaven then came back down to Earth. It was amazing. The sushi rolls were twice as big as the ones found in other restaurants and twice as flavorful. I. fcuking. stuffed. myself.

Best. sushi. EVER.

I am fcuking going back there for my b-day dinner. My homies are in for a treat.

Btw, it's called TGI Sushi, which is rightfully so. Thank god for sushi. It's down by Campbell.


I be very happy :D.

ARGH.

Fcuk this bad luck.

Fcuk it hard.

Something I've wanted so bad, breaks on me when I finally get it.

WTF.

It's not even funny. D:< x infinity.