Let's Trade Watches So We Can Share The Times Between Us.

I'm always at fault for everything. 

I go work out and exercise like you oh so want me to. Is it wrong I do it with friends? Is it wrong I want to hang with them afterwards? Is having friends, unhealthy and detrimental to my life? Yeah I understand you need help with stuff at home and I do my best to keep up. But when I want to just get away from the house, like take a walk, drive around or hit up a drink spot, WHATEVER, can you please me let me do so with as much as an acknowledgment of my yearning for some air?! 

I know I have fucking duties at home, who doesn't? Honestly. Yeah there may be some who give less than a shit about their families but I'M NOT ONE OF THEM. Ok? I was raised by you and Dad who have taught me how to care for myself and others. To forgive and forget. To not forsake your family at any given moment. To this day and forever till time ends, I have not and will not. 


Stop goddamn assuming I'm going to turn out to be intolerant, bad and immoral. Have you ever taken psychology? These things aren't just fucking words that bounce off the ear drum and don't reverberate. These words penetrate my fucking mind and soul and fucks with my inner conscience. Stop mind-fucking me alright? You can play this game all you want Mom, but eventually there will be an ending and that's gonna be me. I'm not the half-bawling, half-screaming 7lb of blood and bone anymore. I don't even know how many times I have to say this. I'M NOT A CHILD. You think you raised me well enough. Well take it from me. You have Mom. I fucking love you for all you've done and continue to do. For once, let me decide for myself. I know what I'm doing. I'm not retarded. You didn't raise me to act that way. You raised me to be damn sensible and logical. That's why I'm trying to do.


How am I ever going to if you're never gonna give me a chance? Every time I attempt to dive, you hook me back with your rod of guilt. I don't want to run away from home just to get what I want. Running away solves fucking nothing. I don't do drugs or drink myself down in an attempt to escape the harsh reality that is life. I face it. I'm not going to tread down the road of desperation like every other son/daughter. 


If you don't let me, then you have wasted your efforts.


~
Maybe this is fucking why most girls don't understand me. I'm not funny, I'm uninteresting and I don't appear to be social or fun to be around. I don't know how half of the world works. Then again, not many people listen. Why would they? I bring nothing of gain to them. Want is such a dangerous word.